Feaverish

I had McDonald’s for lunch today. I didn’t mean to, but it happened anyway. At first I just wanted something cheap and fast, so I thought I’d go to the little taqueria up the street, but then I was like, man, McDonald’s is three blocks closer, I’ll just go there. I know, I know: I’m everything that’s wrong with America. Believe me, I KNOW! So as I was walking along I was all, man, I’m everything that’s wrong with America, so I made up my mind to go to the taqueria after all, even though it was farther (further?) away.

Yes, I thought, this is empowering. By this one act of non-lazyness I shall redirect the lunch-eating force of this entire nation towards the little guy, towards independently-owned shops which may or may not meet national health guidelines. I’m taking my life in my hands here, and I’m doing it on principle! I personify everything good and noble this country was founded on: revolution! freedom! um…equality! Yes!

But then I actually got to the taqueria (all hot and sweaty from walking three blocks, a more self-centered person than me might add) and there was a line out the freakin’ door. Uh, no thanks. So I just kind of nodded at the guy behind the counter, the guy who calls me Señor Aaron, like, Hey man, I’m meeting someone and they’re not here yet so I’ll be back soon. He nodded back, though, like, Yeah right, you just don’t want to wait five minutes for your food, you stupid American. I hope you choke on your fast food and die! That’s what his nod said to me, but then again I don’t speak very good (or “bueno”) Spanish.

So McDonald’s it was. The worst part about getting McDonald’s at PSU is the looks people give you when you’re carrying that to-go bag, like you’re holding the severed head of Ralph Nader or something.