Feaverish

Brief Jerky is, as the name implies, underwear made out of beef jerky. I’m assuming they’re safe to eat, or at least as safe to eat as the countless varieties of non-beef edible thongs I’ve noshed on.

The Bacon Burger isn’t a hamburger with bacon on it, but rather a burger made entirely out of bacon. There’s nothing on the page describing how the final product tastes, so I assume the reviewer died upon ingestion, but whatever. From now until October I’m only making friends with people who have a backyard and a grill.